Healthy Boundaries - How They Help and Harm You

As we move forward in our day to day lives and become intertwined with home, friends, family and work, have you given much thought to what healthy boundaries are?

“Boundaries are a life enhancing system of “Yes” and “No’s,” as outlined in the booklet, Building Better Boundaries, created by The Self Help Alliance. It is stated that boundaries are the stop signs we create and install in order to protect ourselves. With the boundaries, it is clearly laid out that you own and are in charge of your own life and that you are capable of making good choices for yourself.

The Self Help Alliance also states that, “Boundaries are a limit you set between yourself and people due to thoughts, activities and things that aren’t in your best interest.”

What are some of the helpful aspects of boundaries?

Boundaries help us to:

• Define your identity
• Self-protection
• Bringing order to your life
• Helps in self-promotion
• Self-protection from the control of others
• Aid in preserving your purpose
• Protection of your personal assets
• Self-confirmation

How can poor boundaries affect us?

What do ineffective or poor boundaries lead to:

• Loss of self-respect and respect for others
• Loss of control of your life
• Increases chaos, guilt and distractions
• Loss of interest in life
• The above can all lead to hopelessness, depression or anxiety
• When no personal boundaries exist, you exist in misery

Based on the above two lists, ask yourself…”Do I have healthy boundaries?” or “Is my lack of effective boundaries destroying my life?”

 

Author: Teresa Syms Professional Coach & Certified in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy